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When will it be deemed an Essential Service?

So today i saw an update from our clinic stating that they would be resuming services…. GREAT…!!! Actually no, when i went in and listened to the full update they mentioned while they would be resuming services, it would only be to collect eggs and do freeze all cycles.. I know this is great news for some women but it doesnt help me… Im stuck in limbo waiting for the day that they announce that IVF is an essential service.

I have contacted the health minister as i am sure many women have, pleading with him to review this. I know there is a lot going on and the poor man has never been so busy in his life, but still if the WHO deems infertility a disease then surely we should be allowed treatment for this disease, why make us wait.

The reason we have been given that they are not proceeding with embryo transfers is due to the fact that they dont want to put unnecessary pressure on the healthcare system, however in Ireland, the number of cases of Covid-19 are reducing. Not only that but only approx 6000 women seek IVF treatment in Ireland each year, then if you take the number of women who are sucessful, and then they amount of women that will need hospitalisation, surely the reliance on the health service is not that high that they would not allow us to become pregnant? When you then consider the rest of the population who can get pregnant naturally, the numbers are much higher. We dont need to interact with the HSE (health service) until 12 weeks and i would hope that by that stage our country is in a much better position regarding Covid-19.

I feel guilty sometimes and a bit selfish when i talk about it and try push for these things because I am healthy, my family is healthy and i have a roof over my head and a job that allows me to work from home. People are losing loved ones because of Covid-19 and here I am trying to have a baby, it doesnt seem that important in the grand scheme of things, but truth is my heart hurts, i just want this so much, i dont want to have to wait anymore….

Week 2 in Lockdown

Anyone else wake up yesterday and hope that the government was just gonna be like April Fools, you can leave your house and get back to normal..? 🙂

There is so much going on in the world right now and so many horrible stories its hard to know what to beleive or even when it will all end. I went to try donate blood last week as they were short but because i had taken 2 of my injections back in March when we were going through the FET i wasnt allowed… Who knew, huh..?!?

I am so restless the last few days… I am working from home so stuck here all day. We live in an apartment and its just the 2 of us and we are definitely starting to snap a little bit more at each other . Its hard been on top of each other and only really having each other to interact with.. He is used to being here as he works from home anyway but for me i hate being out of my routine.

I am still getting out and doing my exercise. I worked out 4 times a week, usually, before all this started, Leigh is a PT so he trains me, but since things went tits up i do the home workouts that he streams for his clients and i have started… So probably doing about 4 runs a week, not too long as 1. i am not used to running and 2. I dont usually like it so trying to change that mindset. But if i keep it up hopefully it will keep me sane enough and fit and healthy for when we can get back to normal, whatever the new normal is… And between now and then hopfully i dont EAT everything around me…..

I need to think of things to keep me occupied… I asked Leigh if we can have a date night on Saturday, so im gonna do my tan get all dressed up and go for dinner (in my sitting room) F**K it, might as well keep the romance going before we end up divorced…!!! Although he does tell me ” we have to be married first…” 🙂

Cancelled…

I found out initially through an Instagram post from my fertility clinic last night… this then led me to lying awake until 4 this morning, nearly, having a serious dose of “over thinking”.. You see i had it all worked out in my head.. we would go get the transfer, then according to the IVF calculator I would be due on December 4th, just in time for Christmas… my favourite holiday and first one as a family of 3… Not going to go as I planned it seems….

I tend to go full throttle when it comes to thinking/planning things… I am a disaster that way and I think that then leads me to being even more upset and disappointed than I should be as I have everything planned, from telling Leigh I was pregnant to going on holidays with a little bump to having our baby… oh did I tell you it was a girl( well in my head) . Anyway, I got a phone call this morning from the clinic to say they were cancelling all FET and fresh transfers… I get it.. Like as disappointed as I am I understand…. No point putting my unborn child at risk were this one to be successful, not with all that is going on in the world today anyway… And sure listen, I have waited this long, what’s another few months in the grand scheme of things….

Well this is what I am trying to tell myself anyway… You see today is my birthday so it wasn’t really the best birthday announcement to be given… I just feel like “when is it going to be my turn?” “When do I get to be pregnant and have a beautiful baby?” “Why me?” “Why now?” All of the thoughts were had so I had to get out of my head for a while and I did…

Mam and dad bought me a chest of drawers from Ikea that I wanted so I put my energy into making those… 3 hours it took me but it 100% kept me occupied… tomorrow I am going to help Leigh do some painting, Wednesday I’ll sort my room out and actually fill the drawer… I just gotta keep busy…

Oh an learn to cook… Leigh does all our cooking because he is so good at it but today I followed a receipt from Tom Kerridge cookbook and I did quite well if I do say so myself… A very tasty chicken and leek omelette…

So all in all a disappointing day but it will all be ok and work our for the best..

Stay safe everyone and stay sensible… xx

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